The Unfortunate Fortunate Death of Voldemort
by Riley Cat
Summary: How Voldmort dies at the hand of Harry and Draco. Some slight slash and cursing. Real stupid but oh well.


The Unfortunate (Fortunate) Death of Voldemort  
  
By: Riley Cat Disclaimer: Not mine, they all belong to JK Rowling. AN: Loads of silliness and without a plot, this happened to be floating around my brain and I had to write it. Also, this is helping with my writers block.  
The summer had come with all its heat and sunshine. Earlier in the summer, Harry Potter had been taken from his relatives home and relocated to Hogwarts, due to the unfortunate accident involving a raging rhinoceros in heat trying to mate with Duddly (apparently, Duddly- due to his weight- was seen as a female rhino to one confused rhinoceros when they happened to go to the zoo.) Harry had had nightmares for weeks on end about that event.  
  
So here he was, lounging around on his bed in the Tower, bored out of his mind. Harry wasn't the only person his age here- as luck would have it, Draco Malfoy was also staying. Why, Harry didn't know and didn't care. All he knew was Draco was turning out to be a really attractive young man.  
  
After the first few weeks of fighting and snipping at each other, the two boys had decided to bury the hatchet. It was way to hot to be badgering each other. Coming to that mutual agreement found both boys enjoying each other's company swimming and having fun.  
  
But today was different. Harry was completely bored while waiting for Draco to drag his happy butt out of bed and up to his room. Harry had ordered a package from the muggle world a few days earlier and Hedwig had flown in carrying it earlier that morning. Harry couldn't wait to show Draco how it worked. He already had a small basket full of potatoes (that's right, potatoes) sitting right next to his bed.  
  
Grinning widely, Harry brought out a long-thin box wrapped up just as Draco, still yawning and dressed in loose cotton p.j. bottoms, entered the Tower.  
  
"Morning," called Harry, fondling the package in his hand.  
  
Draco grunted in response as he pushed wisps of hair off of his face.  
  
"I can see your awake, Sleeping Beauty."  
  
"Oh, bite me, Harry."  
  
Harry grinned wider. "I would love to, Draco."  
  
Ignoring the confused look in Draco's eyes, Harry quickly leaned over and bit Draco on the leg.  
  
"Ow! What are you doing, you psycho? Now I'm going to get rabies or whatever germs you carry!"  
  
"You invited me to bite you."  
  
Draco threw a pillow at Harry.  
  
"What's that?" Draco pointed to the package in Harry's hand.  
  
Harry only grinned in response.  
  
"Lets go outside and I will show you what it is."  
  
"Fine."  
  
The two boys left the coolness of the Tower, Harry carrying the basket of potatoes and the package, Draco looking confused and adorable- I mean, baffled. Outside the air hit them with a force, the heat of the day closing its evil fist around their bodies. Removing the basket, Harry slowly opened the package to reveille- a potato launcher?  
  
Yes, a potato launcher extreme, to be exact. With automatic and extra large carrying capacity. Harry chuckled to himself.  
  
"What is that?" asked Draco.  
  
"A potato launcher."  
  
"A potato launcher? What the hell do you want that for?"  
  
"Do you have any clue what I can use this for? I can potato Snape from far away and not get caught. I can pay Filch and his stupid cat Mrs. Norris back for all the detentions. I can -"  
  
"Ok, ok, enough. I get the point."  
  
Harry nodded in satisfaction.  
  
"Hand me one of those potatoes-thanks. Now what as I load this. Potato enters here, now another, and another. Then, pull the trigger and off it goes!"  
  
Just as Harry pulled the trigger, Voldemort reached the top of the hill the two boys were standing on. Death Eaters swarmed around him, waiting for their masters' orders.  
  
"Well, well, well, what-"  
  
Whatever Voldemort was about to say was cut off abruptly as the potato flew straight out of the launcher and smacked him in the head. Voldemort spasmed, then keeled over. Draco and Harry watched stunned as the body smacked into the ground. The Death Eaters all leaned over their masters' body in shock.  
  
"He's dead," one of them cried. With a look at Harry, they all Apparated away in fear.  
  
"Who knew Voldemort would die by a potato?" asked Draco.  
  
"Not me."  
  
Suddenly the potato launcher shuddered once, and then shuddered again. Without any warning, potatoes shot everywhere, as Harry lost complete control over the machine.  
  
"Stop!" cried Draco as potatoes pelted him.  
  
"I can't!"  
  
The potato launcher was completely out of control. Harry dropped it and ran, just as he was shot in the butt by a stray potato.  
  
Harry's scream echoed around the lake as this fan fic runs into the setting sun.  
  
The end  
  
AN: Told you this is stupid. Not really humorous at all but, hey, I have writers block with my other story. Read and review, I don't care. Anyway, I'll shut up and leave. ~Ta-ta 


End file.
